Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Someone invite me to a party.

I am now able to explain the entire hemostatic process on a sub-molecular level.

I'm going to go find that Asian hipster and explain it to him.

Sunday, November 20, 2005


I hereby retract any less-than-flattering statements I may have made about certain periodicals and the Irish who read them.

That, as they say, is all.

Friday, November 18, 2005


Gay Asian Hipster Undergrad Sitting At Table Next To Me: Are you an editor?

me: No. But that’s not far off. Why?

him: You have that look.

me: Oh.

him: Like you’ve been staring at a piece of paper all day.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

office excitement

There are firefighters and cops and news reporters milling around on the sidewalk in front of our building. Why? Because they've discovered a meth lab in the building across the street. The building is square, 8 stories tall, white, made of brick and concrete, and concrete stairs are shadowily visible through the dirty windows on the corners, so of course it's hard to think we were ever able to imagine it containing anything else. Also, it seems that we all really like saying "meth lab."

Update. The plot thickens. It's grisly. Details here:

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Suggestions For New Built-In Text Message Entries


No. What?? NO.

What the hell is wrong with him?

I want to DIE.

Time of your life?

Oh. My. God.

I'm dead on my feet, and just going to eat some scallops and sleepwalk home.

Never. Again.

(brought to you by a night of drinking cocktails w/Susan)


ne good thing about working as a copywriter is that you can be staring off into space, enjoying a revenge or sexual (or some combination of the two) fantasy and that you're not working is invisible to the naked eye. Same with looking at web sites.

Another good thing is that you get to spend weeks learning all about a subject you never knew existed or did and fled from. Molecular chemistry, in this case. To learn about hemostasis, I've been reading a journal called Trauma, the front cover of which, at a glance, could easily be taken for an Omaha Steaks catalog, and when I'm done with this project I'm using it as part of my Guy Grand-like plan to replace the magazines in all the chichi Boston salons with hearing protection trade journals and trauma etc. Anyway, yes, lots of medical research articles, which are quite metadiscursively interesting and by and large very well-written, unless they're not and I am just exceptionally smart.

5 more weeks, and one more day.

vorwiegand nicht gut.

Monday, November 07, 2005

What To Wear On A First Date

Usually it's easy: key is to pay slightly less attention to your appearance than you usually do (which, of course, takes paying attention to your appearance, but we'll let it slide (won't we, G. O.?)

But sometimes you're living far away from most of your clothes, and the only clothes you have with you are either too casual or a little dramatic. One should think carefully about wearing clothes that are a little dramatic for a date that's meeting-for-drinks-after-work, because you don't want to look too peacocky, but one might not want to go too casual, esp. when date wears a suit to work.

Obviously the secret is to have a job that forces you to wear a uniform, such as a policewoman or trapeze artist, so you can just wear that to the after-work drinks and avoid the issue entirely.

Stay tuned for next week, when I counsel you on what food and beverages to consume, based on which colors look nicest next to your mouth.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Not much to report.

Spent yesterday afternoon at the DeCordova, a museum and sculpture park in Lincoln, MA. It was the perfect thing to do, entailing as it did driving through Lexington and Concord where the colors of the trees are not to be believed. The DeCordova was showing an exhibition of this guy's work, which was spectacular and completely apropos of the surroundings (even though ARM - oh! cool - had clearly been influenced by my series "Thumb In Upper Corner of Frame.") I like art that is conceptually interesting (by which I mean "concepts I understand") and many of his photographs were that, but every time something seemed particularly brilliant* to me, Susan, who has gone to both art and design school, looked at it and said "Oh, how silly." (but not in a bad way.)

Here are some pictures:

So, yes. And then Patti was in town for a conference and last night I dragged her to the Malaysian restaurant I make everyone go to. At first I teased her for saying "here" and meaning Pittsburgh, but then I started doing it too.

*I love Martin Amis's remark "I don't know much about science, but I know what I like."