Monday, August 01, 2005

Sailboats operate on the same principle as airplanes..

...or so we were told this evening, in the sailing theory class I took for the second time to try to get my mind around some of this voodoo. So far the best things are that when you're sailing close-hauled, which means as near into the wind as you can, allegedly you will experience the same lifty feeling you get when you're in a plane, just at the moment of lift-off, and that you get to talk about something called a boom vang.

Also, argh. I'd gone on a few dates with this man whom I'd really thought was gay (on our third date, previous to which there had been nothing but some chaste pecks, we were walking home and I was wearing a long black cardigan, the sleeves of which hung to the middle of my hands. “Can I,” ventured he, “…hold this?” and he plucked at the end of my sleeve. I told him that he could. “Oh, that’s nice,” he said.) okay, so at the end of THAT date, which was a terribly fancy French dinner arranged and sponsored by him, and during which he talked excitedly about the things we would do together in the future, he walked me home, and came in for a drink of water, which he drank while I waited impatiently, and then there was a peck even shorter and more chaste than any which had come before, and I was glad of it! and then he left and I flew upstairs, thrilled to be home and alone. Don't get me wrong, he's spectacular company and I'd love to export him back to Pittsburgh, but I'd always gotten this sense that he was very uninterested in me physically except as a sort of ethereal thing, which is fine, but not when you're both playing out what is very clearly intended to be the beginning of a dating thing.

Also, I fall for gay guys all the time.

Okay, twice. That I know of.

So that was Thursday. Then TODAY, I get a letter from him - a very well-written letter written on a heavy, folded white notecard rimmed in navy - in which he writes that he should have kissed me like he meant it, and embroidered on that theme for a bit, and ended by saying that he hopes I will write it off to rustiness on his part and that he won't be so "careless and wasteful" again.

I don't know what to make of this. On one hand, he's great, and on the other hand, he's not entirely easy for me to talk to; I think we both feel nervous around one another. I'm afraid that all of his (rather significant) effeminateness has prohibited any feel for him as a romantic co-star.

So, that's the problem - I've been meeting men who are either too Texan or not Texan enough. Speaking of Texas, I was transcribing a video of some guy in Kentucky who was clearly from Texas, and I think I may have been accidentally imprinted by Mike. Hay-ull.

Anyway, T's friend is having a barbecue on Saturday, but my parents will be in town.

What to do.


Blogger dave said...

If "what to do" refers to what to do about the potentially gay guy, I say try to move on, or try to move things into a casual friend relationship. He probably really likes you and is trying to like you "in that way." In other words, if he is closeted, I know from, um, experience that he's probably beating himself up right now for not having the "guts" to go ahead and do what his mind tells him he should, even though his body or his physiology or whatever isn't urging him to.

It's a pretty terrible place to find oneself, one where people can easily get hurt. The only solution, I think, is coming to an understanding of one's self over time. Which is his job and not yours.

12:58 PM  
Blogger j. ondioline said...

I emailed him that he is great and that while some windows of opportunities close, I'm thrilled to have met him and look forward to lots of hanging out. He responded that I was also great and that he was "happy to set romantic questions aside."


1:19 PM  
Blogger dave said...

Oh, well done. I should also go ahead and in the interests of full disclosure say that I once sent an ex-girlfriend an email saying that I knew I should have kissed her the other night, but that etc., etc.

Then we dated for 6 months....

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

mmmmmmm Texas. I frequently want my men to be more Texas. Then I remember there's really only one man and that he's completely disgusted by the mere notion of Texas and then I think FUCK! What to do.

1:32 PM  
Blogger j. ondioline said...

let's just say I won't be ruling out jobs in Austin.

Also, how much fun would it be to give Jake Texan lessons. I sense an Adult Scouts badge in the making...

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

Ever driven in Texas? They have road signs that say "Drive Friendly."

4:50 AM  
Blogger g odoreida said...

It is too soon to say that I would be willing to arrange location swaps with all you Texophiles out there. But if you were to offer I probably wouldn't turn one down.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Ashley said...

you must not be in austin . . .

5:12 PM  
Blogger g odoreida said...

I think I'm going to start calling Austin "The Green Zone." (I am enjoying where I am OK so far, but assuming that in the long run I would rather be where, as I understand, you Texophiles are. Note that Dave is not included in this offer.)

3:03 PM  

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