Wednesday, May 18, 2005

phone call review, or how not to talk to a playa

(some girl): hello?
me: Hi, I'm looking for J?
(the girl): okay, hold on.


J: Hello?
me: Hey, this is j. ondioline. Are you having a party?
J: I'm having a party?
me: No, I'm asking if you're having a party.
J: You're inviting me to a party?
me: No...just....just...I just ASKED if YOU WERE having a party.
J: No, no, my friend (girl's name) and I were at (some place) and (blah blah blah.)
me: Huh. So I uh. I wondered if you got the message I left with your housemate last week.
J: (dismissively) Oh, yeah. I got that. Sorry I didn't.....uh....
me: Okay. Just checking to make sure you got it.
J: Yeah. Were you at the Cage?
me: I was in fact at the Cage.
J: I was going to swing by the Cage but (blah blah blah).
me: Huh.
J: Look, I should go, I'm getting food on the table.
me: Oh, yeah, all right.
J: So...I'll talk to you.
me: Yeah, bye now.
(both hang up)

The brilliant casting of a girl, whoever she was, definitely contributes to the setting and believability of the scene. The me character seems shoddily conceived: "Are you having a party?" Is that meant to indicate nervousness? There are funnier ways to do so. As it is, it's just another example of random dialogue clogging up a scene. Although it did segue into the "misunderstanding" subroutine - this was funny because it's true (in that nothing important is ever misheard, only dumb stuff. As Mitch Hedberg says, soon you find yourself yelling "THAT TREE IS FAR AWAY."). Subsequent dialogue is efficient if uninspired. A little forced, too - "I was in fact at the Cage"? Who talks like that? No wonder J didn't return her call. Very uninspired, in fact, just a string of cliches. Clearly, the best part of this scene is only hinted at in the dialogue, and that is that it happened at one-thirty in the morning.

Also, if anyone knows where I can get stickers made that say "OK" and "you're welcome," please let me know.


Blogger M said...

Was there any stereolab playing in the background? Je t'aime Lateitia!!

3:58 PM  
Blogger M said...

Check out my new blog:

3:58 PM  
Blogger j. ondioline said...

I adore your blog. You need a THIS MEANS YOU!!!!!! post next.

We have to start working on the PED0PHL script, too (the O will have to be a zero). That's something that could be done in a house in Virginia.

7:09 PM  
Blogger M said...

If only would find my blog.

11:25 PM  
Blogger M. Burli Sparks said...

Although this is a late comment, I have to say that in the verbal recap of this conversation you gave me over the weekend, you omitted the "Are you having a party" section. This officially elevates the conversation to something totally embarrassing. Yarks. --mbs

11:08 PM  

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